Two LOve Birds

Adaeze Igwe and Joseph Yobo spoke exclusively with Abiola Aloba of Encomium magazine about their love story. Read it below...

We would like to know your love story. How did you guys meet? Was it love at first sight?

Joseph Yobo “I think it was love at first sight. After we met, we became friends and later we found out we had something special and strong for each other. It was not one of those frivolous affairs. We knew we wanted to spend the rest of our lives together. I believe I fell in love first and made the first move. But maybe she had fallen first and only just pretended not to be. But later she confessed.

Adaeze Igwe “When we first met, he kept staring at me that I almost thought there was something wrong with my outfit. Apart from that I can not really explain how it happened because we were both at how fast everything has happened.

Some have speculated that pregnancy might have been the reason for the quickness and hush nature of your wedding. Could they be correct?

Joseph Yobo “Wwhen I came to Nigeria for the summer, I had only intended to stay for a short time as I usually do, but then I met Adaeze and we fell in love. So, I spent the whole of my summer holidays in Nigeria, which I’ve never done before. To show how serious my intentions were, I even met with her family to assure them that she was in safe hands. Her mom immediately approved the relationship so we took it further from that moment onwards. It was never because of pregnancy. We have always talked about having a child together and had even joked on how beautiful the baby would look. But we could not do the wedding before now because of the nature of my job and also because of Ada not being around as she had a tight schedule in school. We wanted it special and the night of December 31, 09 was the only time all our family members were going to be around. After the date, I am going to be very busy at work till July 2010.

Adaeze Igwe "I can’t understand why that speculation would come up. I know in this modern world, people don’t get married because of pregnancy and apart from that, I am still very young to rush into marriage because of pregnancy. Meanwhile we had concluded other forms of marriage before the church wedding, though we had kept that to ourselves.

Some are of the opinion that Adaeze might still be too young and not experienced enough for the rigours of matrimony.
Adaeze Igwe “I don’t think I’m too young to get into marriage. I know that by the grace of God, I can handle it. Age is only but a number. I have realised since I met Joseph that he is all I want in a man and he’s my best friend. So there’s nothing to worry about. We learn every day.***

All the best to them...

Funny Weird baby

A lady was in the delivery room starting to deliver her baby. As the head came out it was dark and had an afro. The doctor said, "Madam, have you ever slept with a black man?"

"Well, yes, but only once."
"Once is all it takes" he replied.


Then the torso came out and it was yellow.
"Madam, have you ever slept with an oriental man?"
"Well, yes" she said, "but only once."

"Once is all it takes," he said.
When the legs came out they were red. The doctor asked her if she had ever slept with an Indian.
"Well, yes" she said, "but only once."
"Once is all it takes," he said.

He finally pulled the baby all the way out and held it upside down and slapped its bottom to make it cry. As it started to cry the woman exclaimed "Oh, thank God, at least it doesn't bark!

Funny Court Room Drama

Recently reported in the Massachusetts Bar Association Lawyers Journal, the following are 22 questions actually asked of witnesses by attorneys during trials and, in certain cases, the responses given by insightful witnesses:

"Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?"

"The youngest son, the twenty-year old, how old is he?"

"Were you present when your picture was taken?"

"Were you alone or by yourself?"

"Was it you or your younger brother who was killed in the war?"

"Did he kill you?"

"How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the collision?"

"You were there until the time you left, is that true?"

"How many times have you committed suicide?"

Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
A: Yes.
Q: And what were you doing at that time?

Q: She had three children, right?
A: Yes.
Q: How many were boys?
A: None.
Q: Were there any girls?

Q: You say the stairs went down to the basement?
A: Yes.
Q: And these stairs, did they go up also?

Q: Mr. Slatery, you went on a rather elaborate honeymoon, didn't you?
A: I went to Europe, Sir.
Q: And you took your new wife?

Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
A: By death.
Q: And by whose death was it terminated?

Q: Can you describe the individual?
A: He was about medium height and had a beard.
Q: Was this a male, or a female?

Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.

Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.

Q: All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
A: Oral.

Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m,
Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.

Q: You were not shot in the fracas?
A: No, I was shot midway between the fracas and the navel.

Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
A: I have been since early childhood.

Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for breathing?
A: No.
Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
A: No.
Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
Q: But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?
A: It is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere

Yar’adua’s Men List No-go Areas For Jonathan

A cabal, believed to be loyal to recuperating President Umaru Yar’Adua, has drawn a list of ‘no-go areas’ for the Vice President, Goodluck Ebele Jonathan, who seems almost certain to be the most clourful bride in the current power game in the country. The Nation learnt that the pro-Yar’Adua group is confronted with the emerging reality that if Yar’Adua could not continue to lead the country on health grounds, Jonathan may emerge as the personality that will run the affairs of the state, at least for some time to come.

The source hinted that the group is insisting that the Vice President must not tamper with certain key portfolio which the group currently controls. The sectors, the source hinted, include the Ministry of Finance, Ministry of Petroleum, the Ministry of Internal Affairs which controls and determines the mechanism of state security and the Central Bank of Nigeria, CBN. ‘It’s almost certain that VP Jonathan will emerge as the acting President. There is the need to protect the interests of this powerful group. These three sectors are believed to be the country’s most critical sectors. Anyone who controls these positions has the country in the pocket,’ the source claimed. As at press time, it was unclear how the group loyal to the Vice President will deal with the new challenge posed by the influential group.

Our correspondent learnt that the cabal is using the ‘no-go-areas’ as a negotiating weapon in the bid to protect its political bloc and sustain a strong foundation within the frame work of the emerging power equation in the country. The source said that with President YarA’dua recuperating, the group knows it is currently negotiating from the position of strength. It was learnt yesterday that the Minster of Justice and Attorney General of the Federation, Aondoakaa is supporting the position that the VP can act as the President in spite of the seeming contracdictions associated with the Federal High Court judgment.

However yesterday, in an unrelated development, the Vice President Jonathan opened up on the state of the nation warning that some highly placed individuals are bent on pulling down the adminstration.

He also cautioned Nigerians to beware of ‘mischief makers’ bent on causing disaffection in the country. He said this set of people are bent on bringing the current adminstration to its knees by all means, whether fair or foul. He said the sponsors of this ‘false and wicked campaign’ are well known to the Federal Government, and in due time, they will be exposed and brought to book. Meanwhile, there were indications yesterday that the Federal Executive Council (FEC) is now split along two sharply divided camps: those who support President Umaru Yar’Adua to remain in power in spite of his ill health and those rooting for Vice-President Jonathan to take over power on the grounds of the President’s dwindling health.

Investigation by The Nation revealed that although members of the FEC have been presenting a fasle facade to Nigerians that all is well, there is a deep division in the cabinet on whether the VP should be acting President or not.

In a statement signed on Saturday by the Senior Special Adviser to the VP, Mr Ima Niboro, the Vice President said it was obvious there is an on-going effort by some well placed individuals, within and outside the administration, to take maximum advantage of the unfortunate situation that Mr. President, through no fault of his, has found himself health wise, to cause deep-rooted disaffection.

The Vice President said the Presidency is aware that "these same people are sponsoring ridiculous stories in the media to the effect that the VP has already prepared a list of ministers and top executives of key parastatals to dismiss from the administration. ‘There is no need to state that these are obvious lies. The VP uses this occasion to state that key officers of government that are on top of their jobs need not harbour such fears. But those who, rather than focus on delivering this administration’s mandate to the Nigerian people, prefer to cause acrimony and disunity in order to advance personal aggrandisement have every reason to fear."

He denied reports that the VP has refused to act upon the Justice Dan Abutu ruling of Wednesday, 13

th January, 2010, to the effect that he can assume the duties of Mr. President in his absence in line with section 5(1) of the 1999 constitution, because he is awaiting a directive from the First Lady, Hajiya Turai Yar’ Adua.

The VP stated further ‘This report is entirely false. The VP wants to state clearly that the last time he spoke with the First Lady was on Tuesday, January 5

th, after he spoke with the president. Indeed, it was the First Lady that called back shortly after to exchange warm pleasantries with the Vice President.

There is no doubt that those who packaged the report are only attempting to paint non-existent pictures to the Nigerian public in the effort to create mischievous scenarios of indecisivesness on the part of the VP. If we may ask, what was the crucial significance of the Abutu judgement that went over and beyond the subsisting scenario of the VP holding forth in the absence of the president? What therefore would form the directive basis for desperately seeking Mr. President’s point of view in the light of that ruling?

The VP wondered what crucial functions of the president he has declined to take upon himself since the Wednesday ruling. He said barely 48 hours after the decision, the VP led the Senate President, Speaker of the House of Representatives, the Chief Justice of the Federation and the service chiefs, to take the salute at the Armed Forces Remembrance Day."

However, The Nation learnt that some members of the cabinet are unhappy with Yar’Adua’s cronies who believe that there is no basis for the inauguration of an acting President.

It was gathered that some Ministers have been begrudging the affected loyalists of Yar’Adua as the brains behind the decision of the FEC not to invoke Section 144 of the 1999 Constitution to declare the President as incapable of performing his duties.

Sources claim that Yar’Adua’s supporters that have incurred the wrath of their colleagues and some godfathers in Jonathan’s camp are the Attorney-General of the Federation, Mr. Michael Aondoakaa(SAN), the Chief Economic Adviser to the President, Mr. Tanimu Yakubu Kurfi; the Minister of Agriculture and Water Resources, Dr. Abba Sayyad Ruma; the Minister of Finance, Dr, Mansur Muhtar; the Minister of Power, Dr. Rilwan Babalola; the Minister of Petroleum Resources, Dr. Rilwan Lukman; the Minister of Niger Delta Affairs, Sir Ufot Ekaette;, the Minister of FCT, Senator Adamu Aliero; and the Minister of Foreign Affairs, Chief Ojo Maduekwe.

Others who are considered as serving as backbone to the foot-soldiers are the Chairman of the Economic and Financial Crimes Commission, Mrs. Farida Waziri; the Comptroller-General of the Nigerian Customs Service, Mr. Dikko Abdullahi; the Group Managing Director of the Nigerian National Petroleum Corporation, Mr. Mohammed Sanusi Barkindo.

The camp divide of the National Security Adviser, Gen. Sarki Mukhtar, and the Director-General of the State Security Service, Mr. Afakirya Gadzama could not be ascertained as at press time.

Although some party bigwigs wanted the removal of these foot-soldiers, it was gathered that the Vice-President has been battling to keep the cabinet united.

A source said: "Interestingly while we are all engaging in cold war, the VP has been doing a yeoman’s job to keep the cabinet as one."

A Minister, who spoke in confidence with The Nation yesterday, said: "We are divided along Yar’Adua and Jonathan camps. Some Ministers are not happy with the conduct of Yar’Adua’s foot-soldiers in the cabinet and they want them sacked.

"The position of the Yar’Adua’s loyalists is that the President should not be betrayed at this critical period that he is attending to his health. That is why they are determined to fight to the finish and prevent Jonathan from being acting President.

"Apart from Yar’Adua’s loyalists in the cabinet, some ministers have always wanted Jonathan to be inaugurated. But they cannot come out openly to say so. Rather they give their support to the VP behind the curtains, a few others in the cabinet are just praying that the problem should be over.

"Among the Ministers, however, only the Minister of State for Niger Delta Affairs, Godsday Orubebe does not mince words that he is solidly behind the VP who nominated him into the cabinet.

"The Yar’Adua Group is uncomfortable with the Secretary to the Government of the Federation, Alhaji Mahmud Yayale Ahmed, who is said to be lobbying to emerge as the next VP if Jonathan becomes acting President.

"Already, Yayale has relocated his office to Aguda House within the precinct of the Presidential Villa.

"All I can tell you is that the battle line is drawn between Yar’Adua’s boys and Jonathan loyalists in and out of the cabinet."

Beside the division over acting Presidency, it was also learnt that there is a crisis of confidence between the SGF and the Head of the Civil Service of the Federation, Mr. Steve Oronsaye.

A source added: "Since the introduction of tenure policy by the Head of Service, there has been a wedge in the relationship between him and the SGF.

"They only manage to greet each other when they have cause to interact at all. Yayale sees Oronsaye as rubbishing some his achievements in office as the Head of Service."

But the division in the cabinet, occasioned by Yar’Adua and Jonathan camps, has led to a series of meetings in the last 72 hours.

While a group of South-South leaders met secretly on Thursday night on the political situation in the country and last Wednesday’s judgement by the Chief Judge of the Federal High Court, Justice Dan Abutu, the Yar’Adua loyalists also met on Friday morning to strategise on how to consolidate their grip on power.

A highly-placed source added: "Many caucuses within the party, have taken judicious notice of the fact that some of these foot-soldiers do not want the VP to act for the President.

"The Yar’Adua Group in FEC is saying that there is already a judgement in place which cannot be changed overnight by any group.

"The pro-Jonathan camp felt the major impediment to the emergence of the VP as acting President is the current judgement of Justice Abutu. The camp has decided to give full backing to ensure that a counter-judgement is secured from another Federal High Court.

"But a major challenge is the fact that we are likely to have two conflicting judgements going by the seriousness with which Falana is pursuing his matter.

"The ‘war’ has shifted to the court while both camps are pretending that all is well in government circle. The position of Yar’Adua’s Group is that they cannot trust the VP because he might be hijacked by the former President Olusegun Obasanjo’s group which is speculated to be seeking revenge for some ‘sins’ committed by the President and some of his men."

Investigation revealed that the likelihood of conflicting judgements has made some cabinet members and PDP chieftains to woo the Attorney-General of the Federation, Aondoakaa, with an assurance of retaining his office.

But it was learnt that Aondoakaa, who is a die-hard Yar’Adua’s hatchet man, has refused to cooperate with any other group.

The source said: "To reach out to Aondoakaa, the Governor of Benue State, Mr. Gabriel Suswam, and some of his close friends were contacted. But Suswam could not do much because the governor is a loyalist of Yar’Adua like his bosom friend, Aondoakaa. Suswam said he is prepared to take the risk to remain with Yar’Adua.

"Why some of these people are targeting Aondoakaa is because his advice or decision is necessary and vital when there are conflicting judgements from courts of coordinated jurisdictions. The SGF may choose or recommend which of the judgements to honour."

The Vice President has appealed to Nigerians to ignore what it called ‘divisive strategies of those who do not wish the present administration well and are anxious to bring the government to its knees by all means, whether fair or foul. He said he remains eternally grateful to ‘fellow compatriots who have continued to demonstrate unflinching solidarity to the nation in spite of these difficult times.’ He also extends warm acknowledgments to the ‘vast majority of patriots and citizens’ who continue to pray for the restoration of Mr. President’s health and his safe return to Nigeria.

http://thenationonlineng.net/web2/articles/32849/1/YarAduas-men-list-no-go-areas-for-Jonathan/Page1.html

VP denies taking directive from Turai

       

 
Hajiya Turai Yar‘Adua


The Vice -President, Dr Goodluck Jonathan, has denied media reports that he took directive from the wife of the president, Hajia Turai Yar‘Adua, saying the report was false.

The Vice-President who spoke through his media spokesman, Mr Ima Niboro, on Saturday said the last time he spoke with the President‘s wife was on January 5, 2010.

Part of the statement reads, ”This morning, a national newspaper published a report claiming that the Vice-President, Dr. Goodluck Ebele Jonathan, has so far refused to act upon the Justice Dan Abutu ruling of Wednesday, 13th January, 2010, to the effect that he can assume the duties of Mr. President in his absence in line with section 5(1) of the 1999 constitution, because he is awaiting a directive from the First Lady, Hajiya Turai Yar‘ Adua.

”This report is entirely false. The VP wants to state clearly that the last time he spoke with the First Lady was on Tuesday, January 5th, after he spoke with the president.

Indeed, it was the First Lady that called back shortly after to exchange warm pleasantries with the Vice-President.

”There is no doubt that those who packaged the report are only attempting to paint non-existent pictures to the Nigerian public in the effort to create mischievous scenarios of indecisivesness on the part of the VP.”

But in a statement on Saturday, the management of Punch Nigeria Limited says it stands by its story. Part of the statement reads,

SATURDAY PUNCH is standing by its story, which it sourced from two sources close to the Vice-President: a minister of the Federal Republic and a senior special assistant in the Presidency, who cannot be named because of the sensitive nature of the report and the confidentiality that governs such journalistic endeavours.

Before going to press on Friday, SATURDAY PUNCH correspondents in Abuja and in the South-South made repeated efforts to speak to Mr. Niboro, but to no avail. One of our reporters called Mr. Niboro‘s lines on Thursday between 3pm and 4pm. Another repeated the calls on Friday, and got no responses.

This, however, did not surprise our correspondents as Mr Niboro has been in the habit of not taking our correspondents‘ calls for a while.

The claim by the VP‘s spokesperson that our newspaper only attempted to “paint non-existent pictures to the Nigerian public in the effort to create mischievous scenarios of indecisiveness on the part of the VP” is false.

Saturday Punch has consistently stood on the side of truth publishing balanced and fair stories since the departure of the President on a medical trip to Saudi Arabia.

None of its stories, especially, those involving the delicate issues surrounding the President‘s absence and calls from several quarters that the Vice-President should be empowered to act in his stead has shown bias.

The newspaper‘s consistency has been acknowledged by Nigerians including at least one of the Vice-President‘s closest associates who called our editor on the telephone on Wednesday to acknowledge our professionalism and to express his admiration of our editors‘ conduct in words. He also said that he had heard that we do not leverage any of our stories or privileged information for gratification from anyone.

During our investigations, we learnt that an adviser to the VP on Legal Matters acting under the instructions of the VP, worked with lawyers outside government during the Vice-Presidency‘s efforts to properly interpret the implications of the Abuja High Court judgement and decide on a way forward.

Impeccable sources also informed us that the Vice-President spoke to the President‘s ADC during his attempts to speak with the President, but he was routed to Turai, who said the President wasn‘t available, and that she would get back to him.

We acknowledge that the Vice-President as noted by the statement that ”the VP led the Senate President, Speaker of the House of Representatives, the Chief Justice of the Federation and the service chiefs, to take the salute at the Armed Forces Remembrance Day” a purely presidential function.

However, we see this as a corroboration of our story. Reliable sources told our editors on Saturday that the VP only performed this function after receiving clearance from Saudi Arabia, to exercise presidential powers.

It is no secret that the Vice-President, personally, has chosen to play safe since the crisis occasioned by the President‘s departure started, even while his closest aides and associates work behind the scene to ensure that their principal is thus empowered. He has also done little to confront the President‘s powerful kitchen cabinet that has consistently striven to subvert the constitution.

Those who claim to understand this approach have defined it as a form of loyalty. We do not have a problem with the Vice-President‘s understanding of loyalty, even though we acknowledge that many Nigerians have variously interpreted this as vacillation. Our duty is only to publish news devoid of sentiments and based on facts, which is what we have done.

Could the refutal be because, as one of the Vice-President‘s aides who contacted our editors said, ”the report portrayed the Vice-President as a weakling?”

SATURDAY PUNCH has only published what is widely known in official circles in Abuja and it is standing by its story.

http://www.punchng.com/Articl.aspx?theartic=Art201001171114681